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Little Johnny is not an Obama fan





A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again.

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."

Recess at the Asylum

River Collision Takes Life Of 29 Year Old Garden Grove Woman

September 26, 2009 (by Horatio Algren) According to reports a 29 year old Garden Grove woman was killed in a boating collision.

According to the San Bernardino County Coroner’s spokesman Randy Emon, the woman was identified as Sandra Alicia Door, age 29 from Garden Grove. Door was pronounced dead after a boating accident on the Colorado River in the vicinity of Needles, approximately three miles south of Interstate 40 bridge.

Emon stated the accident occurred at approximately 4:15 p.m. when she was operating a 20 foot Polaris and made a U-turn in front of a Master Craft boat. At the time of the collision Door had a passenger, who was not injured in the collision when they were both thrown into the water. The operator of the Master Craft boat was also uninjured.

According to the San Bernardino Sheriff and Corners office the operator of the Master Craft was unable to stop or avoid the collision with Door and the craft she was operating.

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Past Matrix Initiatives Troubles Over Cold Remedies

June 23, 2009 (by Horatio Algren) Matrix Initiatives and makers of the homeopathic cold remedies known as Zicam products, which was issued a warning from the Food and Drug Administration on June 16, 2009 has had problems in the past.

In January 2006 the same company reached a settlement over the same type of issue, they resolved to suits brought by 340 people crossing them $11.9 million, plus $100,000 in costs.

The 340 people that the makers of Zicam settled with a taken legal action after losing their sense of smell using Zicam products.

In the Food and Drug Administration issued a warning to the makers of Zicam products they stated that Zicam cannot be marketed without FDA approval. Products are previously been sold as a homeopathic remedy not needing the approval of the Food and Drug Administration.

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Saturday Landing Frightens Passengers

June 28, 2009 (by Horatio Algren) According to reports the passengers of U.S. Airways Flight 1241 from Philadelphia to Tampa were frightened as the plane landed at Tampa International Airport Saturday.

According to reports the plane landed with a bang on the West runway where 90 to 95 percent of their jets land. The airport officials stated that the front tire under the nose of the plane blew out as the plane was landing. They went on to state that this created a potential dangerous situation for the passengers onboard the plane.

Airport workers brought staircases for the shaken passengers to get off of the plane and fire trucks arrived as a precaution.

Officials stated that while there were no serious injuries, the passengers were visibly shaken by the incident.

One passenger stated that as they were landing she was sitting in a window seat and was terrified. This is because the runway places the nose of the plane out over the bay and with the tire blown out the fear for passengers was very real that the plane might go into the bay.

Billy Mays the infomercial king was also aboard the plane, returning from a trip to Philadelphia from filming an Oxyclean commercial. Mays stated he was thankful to be on the ground and that suddenly the plane hit the ground hard. Things began dropping from the ceiling and he was struck on the head by some of the items. Mays joked he had a hard head.

According to reports by airport officials the FAA relased the plane and the runway stayed closed several hours.

U.S. Airways has made a statement that this was an isolated incident.
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Women Injured In Office Building When Driver Crashes

March 12, 2009 (by Otto Smyth) According to reports by Los Angeles personal injury attorneys, a vehicle drove though an office building when the driver tried to make a U turn.

Police stated that an 80-year-old man attempted to make a U turn in his Buick sedan and instead of hitting the break hit the gas sending the vehicle through an office building located at 21820 Burbank Boulevard. The offices contained in the building is the Table Bay Financial Inc. offices, when the vehicle entered the building where the offices of the firm’s CEO and chief financial officers offices are located. They were not in their offices as the vehicle continued through the building it struck the receptionists desk injuring the 56 year old woman, who was transported to the hospital with minor injuries.

The 80-year-old driver and his passenger were unharmed in the accident and he was not cited at the scene of the accident. Officials stated his ability to hold a California driver’s license will be reviewed.

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Local Crash Takes Life Of Drummer Andy DeMize

January 13, 2009 (by Otto Smyth)

According to reports an accident that occurred trapping two people in the rear seat of the vehicle when it caught fire took the life of Nekromantix (A Danish psychobilly band) drummer Andy DeMize.

The vehicle a 1972 Chevy Nova was reportedly driven by Osvaldo Orozco age 28 of Carson. Orozco was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, vehicular manslaughter while under the influence of alcohol and felony hit and run. It is reported he lost control of the vehicle traveling at 85 miles per hour, crossing all lanes of the freeway, striking a eucalyptus tree and catching fire.

Otozco and a passenger in the front of the vehicle fled the vehicle that caught fire killing DeMize and another passenger in the rear seat of the vehicle. According to reports Orozco called 911 to report the crash from a strawberry field.

Demize whose given name was Andrew Martinez a resident of La Habra was the drummer of the band Nekromantix. According to band members their thoughts are with Demize family and friends.

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West Hollywood Dermatologist Indicted For Use Of Unapproved Substitute

December 19, 2008 (by Otto Smyth)

According to reports by injury lawyers in Los Angeles, a popular West Hollywood dermatologist David Cary Hansen has been indicted after allegedly using an unapproved Botox substitute on patients without their knowledge.

Hansen was indicted on Wednesday in Los Angeles by a federal grand jury, for using the substitute drug that was known to have caused botulism when used in high doses. This drug was also found to have been labeled “ not for human use.” The indictment alleges the dermatologist was using this as an experimental way of reducing wrinkles according to prosecutors.

After Hansen’s arrest on Thursday morning prosecutors stated that the doctor is accused of purchasing the experimental drug from 2003 and 2004 in the state of Arizona and had purchased approximately 12 vials. These vials were marked for research purposes only according to prosecutors and were Botulinum Type A. The doctor is also charged with alleged mail fraud, and other offenses related to the drug.

The incidences took place at his clinic Skinstation, where prosecutors allege he used this drug, which cost less on his patients while he led them to believe he was doing injections of Botox. Hansen age 52 is facing up to 60 years in a federal prison if convicted, along with $600,000 in fines according to reports.

This is not the doctor’s first brush with medical treatment problems; according to reports in 2008 he had his medical license suspended for sixty days. This was for excessive treatment of approximately four patients.

Hansen has been released on $50,000 bail and a court date for January 12th has been scheduled.

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